love..

[groath]

i know this isent a blog or any thing but i need some opinons..

so you all might know me and this one girl were going out for a while, well on the 24 of september she broke my heart.. i was like ok i can deal with this.. well then my friend that ive known since preschool asked her out less then a week latter.. she said yes.. and.. i got mad.. i dont know what i got jelous and things just kept getting worse, i asked him to come talk to me one day and he did and we talked for half an hour basiclly, well the next day she is mad at me beacues i apparently said that i dont want to see them together when i said. " if shes happy with you then i guess i can live with the fact that shes happy" well she got mad at me. and so i gave back all my letters and pics and postcards shes sent me with a letter saying im done i cant keep doing this i cant keep hurting us like this. i think it would be better if i was out of your life and junk... and now im not sure if i did the right thing.. i care for her but i know it can never be the same she broke my heart and if we did get back together there be that hint of doubt. im a little conflicted right now lol. i still want to be hers but then i dont beacues of what she did.. idk im confused a bit. it was my first sirrous relationship and that probly dosent help things, any ideas what i can do? i still want to be apart of her life but i dont want to be a bad part of her life. and for like two weeks we tryed acting like every thing was fine and that worked out horrably.. so yah lol sorry for the length.

[Brighid]

Hmm..I really wish I could give some really sage advice here, but I don't really know. Maybe someone else could answer much better than me (I hope). I don't know what I'm going to do when my own son goes through this.

I remember going through this when I was a teenager, I remember how much you can really care for someone, regardless of how young you are. In fact, I believe that though teens might not truly understand it as well, there is a level of caring and loving when you are a teenager that is hard to find as an adult. It is before you learn to doubt and question. You can just give yourself completely, with little to no reservation as a teen.

I can understand how much this hurts you, and I'm sorry that you are going through it. Unfortunately this is a part of growing up. Your first love almost always breaks your heart, whether you are male or female. I don't envy your position right now. It's something we have ALL been through I promise.

I think it's amazing that you tried to step back and be OK as long as she is happy, that speaks volumes about your character. Unfortunately the feelings you have aren't going to make it easy for you. It is a noble thought but I'm not sure how practical it is really. Especially with your friend involved also (which I think is pretty crappy to be honest).

As much as it hurts you right now, I PROMISE it does go away and you will feel better, it just takes time. Unfortunately this is one of the lessons we all have to go through. I really wish that wasn't true, but it is. I know that is not what you want to hear. Just keep being the awesome person you are, and do whats right, and you'll make it through. She's a very silly girl if she didn't realize what she had anyway 

well, now that I've said a lot, while also saying nothing, I'll end here.I wish I could have helped more. Tolkus probably is best to answer this, as a guy.

[Tolkus]

I'll try... Like it or not it will hurt for a while, you will always remember your first serious girl. I still do, but in time you may look back on it and ask yourself what the brick-a-brack was I on? As I do now and be glade it ended. The best thing to do is to take a few steps away from her and the situation. Don't worry about other people now and just take time for yourself. You are far too young to get serious about anyone right now, there is a whole world of people out there to meet, enjoy them and yourself and when the time comes and you meet the ONE you'll know it, with no doubts, nagging thoughts or reservations of any kind. Don't think you have to settle now, live now go adventuring, do archaology or something. You have plenty of time to get serious when your older. Hey I was nearly 30 before I got serious with someone. 

[groath]

i know that some day i will find the one for me. and right now i am kind of taking a step back and going.. wow .. but im starting to wonder if i did the right thing not being friends with her .. i mean i still want to be there for her but i think she looks at it as if i want to try and get back with her. man love is a confusing thing.. most the time when i have a serious problem in my life im able to step back for an hour think about it deeply  and then the answer pops into my head,go to school stick to the plan i made and every thing turns out great! wiith this its almost like the opposite go to school and have it all blow up and have three diffrent people mad at you. i think im going to give her a lot of space for now her birth day is in december and i think i will still get her a gift to show that i still would like to be friends.

[Tolkus]

Yes you did the right thing, do not doubt yourself on that. She's the one with the problem, wipe your hands clean and walk away with your head held high. Hold up on the present just now and wait and see how things are then, there is a lot of time between now and then, much could happen.

[HJuniper]

Oh, I am just reading this now.

I have never been able to maintain friendships with serious ex-es.  There's usually a reason why I no longer wanted to be with them, so I drop it.  I like to surround myself with positive people.

I hope your heart feels better soon, groath.

[groath]

well now i feel like ive done the rong thing.. ugg i want to be friends with her but im not sure if i should.. im going to give it at least two weeks then ask her if she wants to have a restart sort of.. what do you guys think??

[Brighid]

I think you should do what feels right in your heart....cheesy, but true! It's good to give her a little space, if nothing else it will give her time to see if she still wants to be with you, as friends or as more. I think you're very mature for your age, and you should trust yourself!

[groath]

me ? mature? lol i find that very hard to believe if any thing i believe im to imature for my ages beacues im 16 yet every one around me at school is about 15 so i kind of have an infulance from them. but yah i wish some one told me love hurts so much. thanks for the coments guys i think ill be ok, time heals all wounds..

[groath]

so i tottaly blew my plan of wating two weeks and made it through one, shes was actually a lot more understanding then i thought and it looks like were going to be ok after all. thers still some bumps to work out but for the most aprt it looks like will be friends , even though i secretly want her back.. lol thanks for the suport! and happy hallowen!